The Myth of Adversarial Divorce

In our experience, once most people decide they want a divorce, they would like the process to be completed as quickly and efficiently as possible. But the common misconception is that they must hire the most aggressive lawyer and must dig in for a long, contentious battle. This is a myth.

Many divorces are completed without the parties ever appearing in court, or even appearing in the same room. Therefore, if the lawyers can work together and set a professional tone for the proceedings, the divorce can be completed amicably, even if the parties are no longer communicating.

It never ceases to surprise us how often the parties want an amicable divorce and one or both lawyers take actions which increase the amount of animosity. We have been involved in many cases (read divorce horror stories) where the divorce was unnecessarily contentious and expensive simply because the other party selected the wrong lawyer.

We believe that the parties should dictate the tone and pace of the divorce. Therefore, we encourage our clients to pursue one of several avenues that insure the divorce is less adversarial.

First, there is collaborative divorce, where the parties and the lawyers sign an agreement to freely exchange any necessary documents, to negotiate in good faith and to reach a settlement before stepping foot in a courtroom.

Second, we support using mediation near the beginning of the case instead of waiting until just before trial. By finding common ground early in the reduces the level of animosity. Further, by narrowing the issues, it allows the parties and the lawyers to focus primarily on the areas where there are differences, saving the parties time and money.

Finally, if litigation is necessary, we will only take steps necessary to assist our clients. We attempt to open the lines of communication with the other lawyer in order to keep the case moving forward and avoid having to file unnecessary motions due to an uncooperative party.

At Pitler Family Law, our Michigan divorce attorneys handle family law, divorce, child custody, parenting time, visitation, child support and alimony matters throughout the Detroit metropolitan area, including Farmington Hills, Livonia, Bloomfield Hills, Troy, Royal Oak, Birmingham, Rochester, Mt. Clemens, Dearborn, Warren, Southfield, and all of Oakland County, Wayne County, Livingston County, and Macomb County.